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Eats scissors and stabs with paste.

Premises before conclusions or shut the fuck up.

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And this is what has been going on in my life.
1) I have not quit my job. I have earned the respect of the attorney that everyone warned me about. (It honestly wasn't that hard: she likes hard work and doesn't like bullshitters. Do one, don't do the other, and you're fine.) The judge is another matter entirely, but she's crazy. I thought it was me, because the things that were okay one day suddenly aren't okay the next, but people with way more experience have assured me that she's just crazy. I still see why there's such a revolving door in this place.

2) My mom finally got her lap band taken out, as of today. After aspirating pneumonia, thrush, and losing thirty pounds in three months. (She started trying to get it removed in March, after vomiting blood since November*, only for the doctor to tell her that her BMI was too high to warrant it. She is five-four. At that point she was 145 pounds, at 53 years of age. Will there be a complaint to the medical board? Oh, yes.) The surgeon got luckier than he expected and was able to take it out via a small incision rather than cracking her breastbone.

I really cannot emphasize enough how utterly stupid weight-loss surgeries are. And, yes, we have called a hiatus to hostilities for the week, but mostly because she's been on the good shit.

*My mother is a stubborn moron. I can't sugar-coat that.

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