Eats scissors and stabs with paste.

Premises before conclusions or shut the fuck up.


This is a sticky. It belongs on the top.
AI-sparkly dark unicorn prince
[info]ficangel
All of my fic posted before July 1st, 2009 will have a "caveat lector" policy. Some of it does carry specific warnings, some of it does not; without a consistent policy, I don't feel comfortable advertising any of it as a safe space. Contact me and I'll do my best to fill in the blanks, but ten years of fandom plus half a million words a year is a hell of a lot of words.

All of my fic posted after July 1st, 2009 will contain a variation of the following as a part of its header boilerplate: "CONTAINS: X, Y, Z, please contact me if you need or want more information." I have a bad habit of crouching on PMs like Gollum, but I'll do my best to answer any PMs or emails just as soon as possible.

So, on my not sending out snowflake cookies this weekend...
AI-David laughing oh kill me dead.
[info]ficangel
...I realized only a few hours ago that they were free. Sometimes I am so damned lucky that I'm cute. *facepalm*

I look like a damned bush baby.
White Collar-Peter is surrounded by idio
[info]ficangel
More on that in a minute. Firstly, thank you so, so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and/or gave me cookies! OMNOMNOM it was a good day.

Secondly, I had an optometrist appointment this morning. It was with a new doctor. He's a good doctor, I think, but he is very, very thorough. My eyes were dilated for the first time ever, and after I mentioned that I haven't been wearing my contacts over the past few days due to allergies/headcold, he dropped a couple of different dyes into my eyes so that he could take a better look at that, too. The dyes sting and thus follow a topical anaesthetic. The anaesthetic worked so well, in fact, that it reactivated a lazy eye I haven't had since I was four. So, um, yeah, I was supposed to work the second half of the day, but clearly that was not possible when I could not focus on anything closer than about a foot in front of my face. I can focus again, but the dilation has not entirely worn off, so at home I be where I can keep it dim.

And thirdly: Further thoughts on White Collar. )

"Lucky" makes me want Penelope/Derek sfm.
CM-Family
[info]ficangel
LOOK AT HER FROM ACROSS A SMOKY BAR, MORGAN, GODDAMNIT.

(For cereal. Pleaseohplease, let him totally have been all OMNOMNOM the first time that he saw her, but Penelope only thought that he was one of the ones who "took a minute"--or five+ years--'cause he has his specific Morgan relationship issues.)

(I OTP them so damned hard, y'all. I do not apologize.)

EDIT: Oh, Morgan and his (understandable) issues with authority figures. And Emily snapping at him for being eaten up with dumb wrt Garcia and Pseudo-Graham. WOE. Morgan is a lot like Mal Reynolds in that regard, actually: you can't be that angry at God unless you still believe.

And Rossi is amazing with the grieving family (the mother, not a secret, Rossi has always been good with women but not with the emotional lives of men, so the father is a bit...okay)...but then he goes and is an utter dick with Morgan. Ah. Now I'm remembering why he took a bit to grow on me.

Dear LJ: I would love it if you would send me some comment notifications, I really would.
AI-God Dave's face
[info]ficangel
I am using David Cook's face for no better reason because it's adorb. Truly. For all that A Certain Distancing is happing (it is, shut yer goddamned face), those are still the most beautiful hazel eyes that I've ever seen.

I drank pretty lightly last night, give the combo of headcold meds plus ladytime cramps, but I am so lit up right now. And loving the Tenacious D movie. I am sure that these are related. And afraid to sleep. I am certain that that is related. (That is totally related to Point A: I am hangover-resistant, but I vom easily.)

I had another point! Oh, wait: Dear Joss Whedon: I used to respect the fuck out of you. (H/T to Nostierel for the link.) STOP BEING A GODDAMNED DOUCHE.

FOX saying, "Um, less rape up in here?" does not mean that your artistic integrity is being OMG INFRINGED. It means, that you know: they're not comfortable with at worst endorsement and at best neutral non-commentary on FUCKING RAPE. Good God, y'all.

'Kay, what sucks balls?
CM-Hotch alone
[info]ficangel
Going over an outline that you wrote last spring and finding that "Cradle to Grave" hit a lot of the same thematic points. Damnit, I'ma do it, anyway. *scribbles* It's not like anyone on this show is lacking family trauma.

AI Fic: All That Time, Silent Still (22/29)
AI-Mavid is epic.
[info]ficangel
TITLE: All That Time, Silent Still
AUTHOR: Mari
RATING: NC-17
PAIRINGS: Mavid, Tiedam, miscellaneous hints of others both slash and het.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own this sandbox, and all of the sandbox games played within are entirely fictional.
SUMMARY: Civilizations have crashed before under the impact of one great catastrophe. Make it two, and what’s left behind is barely recognizable. Slavefic AU.
CONTAINS: Coercive themes by definition; sex, violence, language, and torture both onscreen and off. Contact me if you want or need to know more.

There was neither time nor space for David to find other sleeping arrangements.

Holy crap, I am one quarter century old.
AI-the fuck I can't like 'em both
[info]ficangel
Yeah, I don't know how that happened, either.

Happy birthday, [info]alliecat8! One day late, but I'll smooch you, anyway. *cuddles*

But! I went out for drinks with [info]thatsaud last night, and then while we were still kinda buzzed we went to watch New Moon. Um, I kind of feel bad for the girl and her boyfriend in front of us who were watching it as a very serious date movie okay, because the two of us could not stop snickering. Best moments of all were when Kristen dropped character, because Bella is ridiculous, but Kristen is kind of a dommy bitch. And one dude who kept letting out these outrageous Nelson laughs at the worst moments of emo pain, which would in turn set me and Aud off all over again, and...yeah. Mojitos first were a good plan!

Spoiler. )

White Collar 1.6-"Free Fall"
White Collar-Peter is surrounded by idio
[info]ficangel
Spoilers are chewing impatiently upon their knuckles. )

It's time to boost the signal, guys.
CM-Family
[info]ficangel
Activism is what fandom does best outside of porn.

HELLO UNIVERSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH ME?!
Mentalist-Patrick/Teresa whisper
[info]ficangel
Yes, I am awake even though it is 6:14 a.m. on a Saturday, and have in fact been awake long enough to take a shower and clean my kitchen. This is due to the fact that, for the second time this week, I stayed awake after work just long enough to eat something, and then face-planted into my bed and didn't move again for hours.

I know that the sudden nose-dive that my immune system has taken is due to chronic stress--I used to come down with creeping blargh after finals every goddamned semester in college, like clockwork--but I would still very much like it to go die in a fire, please and thank you.

*

Eddie Dean (Dancing Queen) (seriously, I have him answering to that) is currently hiding in an empty Mountain Dew box and peeking at me over the top. Shh, he's a Sekrit Kitteh, I don't see him until he ninja-attacks from nowhere (and definitely not that box where I've been watching him the entire time). I so need to get this kid some kind of kitty cube or playhouse. He has a normal cat fascination with boxes and bags, but he gets it slightly sideways: he then attempts to eat them. That, I cannot so much tolerate.

*

I just finished filling out the dealership survey for Morgan the Shiny New Car. It was positive, and I made a special point of mentioning how I keep going back to them for vehicles specifically because they don't pull gendered bullshit. (And because Ford is just about the only domestic car brand that's stepping up to the plate and realizing that things have to change, and every car I've purchased from there has held up like a champ even though I drive hard and have a tendency to killinate, but neither of those things are specific endemic issues within the car industry.) I womanfully held back pointing out that my salesperson, while incredibly pleasant, professional, and capable of dealing well with the fact that I accidentally hit him in the head at one point (I did!), reminded me a bit of Gil from The Simpsons, and could they please give this man a raise? I think that he may have starving children at home.

Glee 1.12-"Mattress"
AI-David Cook is a rock star
[info]ficangel
Only three things worth saying. )

I might have the creeping blargh, but by-God that blargh is not flu. You know how I can tell? This whole thing where I cannot stop fucking sneezing.
Tags:

I ought to be getting ready for work, but I'm not.
CM-Family
[info]ficangel
The "allergies" are, in fact, a nice little cold. Nothing on the level of September's Peruvian Death Flu--now that I'm drugged up, I'm relatively cheerful--but I swear, one of these days I'm going to be tottering around on a broken leg and swearing that it's just allergies.

*
Due to said allergies that weren't, though, I was down for the count at 7 p.m. and didn't wake again until my alarm went off at 6 a.m., so I missed the entirety of SYTCD and Glee. I've heard things about the latter that do not shock me, though. Will Hulu later, since Vampire Diaries being a repeat and The Mentalist not being on until nine, in any case, leaves me relatively teevee-free tonight.

I will be face-planting into my cheese fries shortly.
Mentalist-Patrick/Teresa whisper
[info]ficangel
Yes. Cheese fries. I'm going to be even more of an adult as of Sunday, as all insurance companies group you into the slightly adult 18-24 and the the VERY ADULT 25-40 and there just ain't no arguing with it, so I'm eating crap while I can.

But that is not the point!

Dear reader, I have both allergies and An Allergy. I'm not certain what causes the Allergy, but it'll start out itching, and then I'm start coughing, and if I'm not smart enough to recognize those symptoms and take a big dose of benadryl, there have been a couple of times when it got hard to breathe. Today, I just have allergies. However, the only thing that I actually have in my apartment is benadryl, so....I'm sorry for anything loopy that I say or do for the next several hours. Hi!

As it turns out you can engage in unwanted sexual contact!
Mentalist-Patrick/Teresa whisper
[info]ficangel
And here I thought that "engage" as a verb meant that, you know, I have a choice in the matter.

Also, as a side note, I am so, so, so, so fucking sick of a man being drunk, and it means that he's relieved of responsibility, and a woman being drunk, and somehow it fucking increases hers.

H/T to [info]handsomespeck for the link.
Tags:

420 words of Yuletide, down for the count!
CM-Family
[info]ficangel
*makes rah fingers accordingly* RAAAAAAAAAAH!

I'ma go work on an outline now, 'cause lists make me happy like that.

Happy birthday, [info]eponine119!
AI-David and LR
[info]ficangel
Have a good one, daaaaaaaaah-ling! *smooches*

AI Fic: All That Time, Silent Still (21/29)
AI-Mavid is epic.
[info]ficangel
TITLE: All That Time, Silent Still
AUTHOR: Mari
RATING: NC-17
PAIRINGS: Mavid, Tiedam, miscellaneous hints of others both slash and het.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own this sandbox, and all of the sandbox games played within are entirely fictional.
SUMMARY: Civilizations have crashed before under the impact of one great catastrophe. Make it two, and what’s left behind is barely recognizable. Slavefic AU.
CONTAINS: Coercive themes by definition; sex, violence, language, and torture both onscreen and off. Contact me if you want or need to know more.

David felt wrung-out and not in the mood to do anything more than sleep.

The Mentalist 2.08-"His Red Right Hand"
Mentalist-Patrick/Teresa amused
[info]ficangel
All roads lead back to Mommy, such is my brain. )

"Jones" on my teevee!
TVD-Kids in love
[info]ficangel
"Why aren't you married?"

"That has to do with this case how?"

"It doesn't. I'm just flirtin'."

Heee. This episode features one of the most sympathetic unsubs ever, Emily Prentiss being FTMFW (to the point of Derek complimenting her with, "Prentiss, that's because you've never been one of the antelope."), and the veriest beginnings of JJ/Will. No matter how much I know that Will only really came back because AJ became preggers, I could not picture either of them with anyone else.

(I really ought to be watching any combination of Glee/The Mentalist/Yuletide Source right now. Given some things that have come through the grapevine about this week's Glee, though, I think it might be best for my sanity if I skip it, I cannot lie and say that Teresa's recent developments and Patrick's being a Giant, Levitating Asshole have not affected my enjoyment of The Mentalist this year, and....I'm lazy. Yeah, that's all I got.)

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